One Hundred and Fifty Two

*Haalah this one is for you. Dee’s P.O.V. 😀

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As narrated by Dee:

WhatsApp Chat- Meez:

MEEZ: Gym today?

ME: Eyyyh

ME: Still recovering from yday bro 🙈

MEEZ: Unfit slug 😝😂

ME: 🙄

ME: Let’s do a run instead

ME: Tomorrow morning

ME: 6 am 😊😉

MEEZ: 🔫🙃

ME: No I’m serious

ME: You’ll love it

ME: Morning runs are the best

MEEZ: Morning sleep is the best

ME: Now who’s being a lazy slug 😂

MEEZ: 🙄😂

MEEZ: Ok I’ll consider and let you know tomorrow morning

ME: Your head you’ll “consider”

ME: We’re going

ME: Make sure you up and ready

MEEZ: You’re the worst gym partner ever 😭😂

ME: I know 😝

*****

The next day – 5:30 am.

Cupping my hands under the flowing water, I let the water collect before washing my face thoroughly.

The blissful hot water caresses my arms next, and finally my feet.

After completing my wudhu, I dry my limbs before laying out my musalla (prayer mat).

I perform my Fajr Salaah (early morning prayer) and raise my hands.

With an aching heart, my mind still fresh with images of a nightmare that had just passed, I pray.

I pray for Paapa.. for his forgiveness.

I pray for Maama.. for her health – mental, physical, emotional.

I pray for Dayyanah.. for her safety – unsure as to whether she sleeps under a roof at night or not.

I pray for Daanyaal.. that his future be a bright and beautiful one.

I pray for myself.. for happiness, true happiness, unlimited happiness.

And then, as I fold up my musalla, I push it all away.

The sight of Maama’s tired black eyes, burning into mine, silently begging me to think rationally. The image of her shaking hands as they try to grab me, to stop me..

Daanyaal’s soft whimpers of fear, the sight of his eyes, shining with fear that no child his age should ever have to feel..

Dayyanah’s silence, so loud that it pierces my eardrums and splits my heart, the unfiltered emotions in her eyes, pleading with me, beseeching me, almost daring me to leave..

The sound of the front door slamming, the stark terror that overtakes me, and then the blinding feeling to run.. Just run.

Dayyanah is right behind me as I step out into the blackness of the night.

“You’re going to regret this all your life, Deeyanah,” she says.

Her voice is low, but I hear each word clearly, as they tattoo themselves into my mind.

That’s the last thing I hear Dayyanah say, before the sound of my feet pounding against the ground reaches my ears.

But the further I go, the faster I run, it does nothing to take away her words, it does nothing to erase the image of Maama’s pleading eyes, it does nothing to silence Daanyaal’s cries, and it does nothing to wipe away my fear.

Slowly, carefully, not wanting to hurt myself further, I collect them, each moment, each memory, and place them inside a box. Then, I shut the lid, turn the key and bury it deep into the crevices of my mind.

Taking a deep breath, I place my steel armour around my heart and say to myself, “Today is going to be a good day.”

*****

I tie up my shoes, grab a sunhat, my phone, and the empty bottle on my pedestal.

I peek in on Amz before switching off the alarm and going downstairs.

After filling the empty water bottle, I put it into the fridge and take out an already cold one. Grabbing two energy bars and an apple, I take my keys off the hook and head out.

The early morning spring air, warm at the approach of summer days, instantly makes me feel completely awake. There’s something about early morning spring air that’s just so beautiful!

Chirping birds all around me, I make my way towards Meez’s place, hoping his up and ready!

But of course, when I call him 8 minutes later, he’s only waking up.

Rameez 😂

“‘lo,” answers his sleepy voice.

“Goooood morning sleepy head! You have 3 minutes to get your self outside. Time starts now.”

“Huh?” comes his confused reply.

Shaking my head, I cut the call and ring him back.

“Oh god, we’re really going on a run?” he groans, sounding a little more awake this time.

“Yes we are! Hurry up! I’m waiting outside your house,” I say to him.

“Oh don’t be daft! You can come in, you know.”

“Actually, you know what,” he grumbles a second later. “Stay outside. I’m not opening for you. Might as well go back home!”

“Come onnn, Meez!” I laugh. “You don’t have to let me in, but just get your self out.”

“Do I have to?” he asks, yawning.

“Yes!! Make it snappy! Time is going!” I say impatiently.

“Alright, alright,” he mumbles. “This better be worth it.”

While I wait for Meez, I text Amz, remembering that I had forgotten to tell her I’d be going out.

I scroll through my social media for while before checking the time.

5:57 am.

I’ll give him three more minutes… 

*****

7 minutes (and lots of complaining from Meez) later, we’re on the run.

Earphones plugged in, feet pounding against the asphalt, we take a turn onto a quieter road which apparently eventually leads to an open field, according to google maps!

Running together for the first time, our pace doesn’t match and we’re totally out of sync. But we don’t bother to fix that just yet.

Before long, my muscles are screaming and my breath is laboured.

I slow down before stopping completely.

Meez runs past me without pause.

“Unfit slug!” he shouts over his shoulder, smirking.

I roll my eyes.

The open field is up ahead and taking a deep breath I make it my goal.

However, not wanting to overexert myself, I go at a light jog instead of a run.

“Who’s coming to fetch us?” asks Meez, squinting up at me from where he lays on the grass.

Laughing, I collapse on the grass next to him.

“No one,” I reply, drinking my water.

“Great!” mutters Meez.

Grinning, I toss him an energy bar and unwrap my own one.

We sit in silence for a while, neither of us saying anything.

The sun has come up and its rays shine through the clouds creating a beautiful effect.

“I’ve got an apple too, if you’d like,” I offer.

“Nah, I’m good. Thanks,” he says, sitting up.

He checks the time on his phone before laying back down on the grass.

“Imagine, I could have been sleeping in my warm, soft bed right now,” Meez says lazily.

I roll my eyes and lay down on the grass too, looking up at the cloudy sky.

“How’s the emotions?” Meez asks after a moment. “Settling?”

“Hmmm..” I reply, placing my sunhat over my face. “Not really..”

“Nightmares?”

Every single damn night.

“Hmm..” I reply again. “Expected it, though.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks gently.

“No,” I reply automatically.

“Have you talked about it?”

“Well Amz had to wake me up couple times soo… yeah, guess I kinda did..” I reply.

“You still haven’t given me a good reason as to why you won’t see a psychologist, you know?”

He turns onto his side and pulls my cap off my face.

“Hey!” I protest, sitting up.

Meez sits up too, facing me.

“I’m going to get sunburn,” I say, looking at my cap in his hand.

“The sun’s not even up yet,” replies Meez, rolling his eyes.

“If I sunburn I’ll never find a husband,” I say with fake seriousness, putting on a grave expression.

He raises an eyebrow and we both burst out laughing.

We sit for a while longer, talking about random things before Meez gets up.

“We should get going,” he says, stretching.

“It’s only half six,” I say, checking the time on my phone.

“It’ll take us 20 minutes to get back since we’re walking, not running. And not all of us can take 5 minute showers!”

“Alright,” I say idly, making no move to get up.

“Come on,” says Meez, stretching out his hand.

Shoving my phone into my pocket, I grab his hand and get up.

*****

We reach Meez’s place some time later, and by then my body is liking the idea of a longer than 5 minute shower more!

“So, it was worth it, right?” I ask as we stop at the gate.

“Welllll… I meeeaaan…” drawls Meez.

“Oh shush! Don’t deny it!” I say, punching him lightly.

“Yeah it was great. Except the waking up and getting out of bed part!”

“I think we should run once a week for now and then split gyming over three other days of the week,” he adds thoughtfully.

“Yeah, we’ll see how it goes,” I say, a little distracted.

“Alright, I’ll see you in a bit,” greets Meez, opening the gate.

I watch as he walks off, my mind suddenly spinning.

Should I?? 

But what if…. 

Just ask him!!

“Meez!” I yell, a little too loudly.

He turns around, startled.

“Yeah?”

“I… I need to.. ask you something…”