As narrated by Dee:

“Wait wait wait!” Daanyaal stops me from starting my next sentence. “What happened before that? You just skipped a whole year.”

“Well… nothing important you need to remember. I’m just telling you the main parts.. the less for me to talk about, the better..”

“Oh, I thought you didn’t care!” he says a bit harshly.

I narrow my eyes at him, my frustration intensifying as it becomes more and more difficult to fight the pain.

“Shit, sorry,” he mumbles quietly.

I ignore him. I understand that it’s a lot for him to digest and I am currently the only one he can take out his emotions on, but the least he can do is consider the emotions I’m battling too.

I breath out heavily.

“In that year before I.. left, Uncle Rashid and Nana tried sorting things out. They opened a court case. I know they were only trying to help, to do what they thought was best… but I wish they never did. The week after that was hell. We paid for a decision we didn’t even make. Paapa was relentless in showing us what was to happen should we try something like that again. He even threatened Uncle Rashid and his family.”

“It boggles my mind, Daanyaal, how he went from such a loving caring husband and father, to a.. a monster. Literally, that’s what he became. And monsters need to be tamed. They need to be handled carefully, gently, kindly. But there was no one to do that for Paapa. We didn’t realize at that time, and we were too young to help him anyway.”

And now it’s too late.

“I remember that night.. the night I left.. like it happened yesterday. And I don’t think that is ever going to change.”


“Don’t you dare, Deeyanah! I’m warning you,” says Dayyanah, her voice low, dangerous.

Her face, a mirror image of mine, dead serious. Her piercing blue eyes stare at me, almost daring me to disobey.

And I do.

“I’ll come back,” I say. “I just need to get away for a few days.”

“Don’t be a coward, Dee. We’re sticking through this together. That’s what you said. And now you’re going against your own word!”

“You don’t understand! I’m not as strong as you, okay?! I can’t handle this anymore!” I say.

“Well do you think I can?” snaps Dayyanah. “Do you think it doesn’t affect me?”

I drop my head, silent tears falling down my face. 

“Please, Dee,” she begs, her voice softening. “Don’t leave. How will I manage without you? Think about how much more pain you’re going to cause for Maama.”

I push her aside and run out of the room.

Don’t allow her to change your mind. Just get out while you can. Run! Run away from this war zone. 

But Maama stops me before I reach the front door. 

Her tired black eyes burn into my blue ones, silently begging me to think rationally. Her hands are shaking as they reach out to stop me. 

Everything seems to slow down as I hear Daanyaal’s soft whimpers of fear and confusion behind me. And I will every part of me not to turn around but oh how our own bodies betray us. 

“You promised,” he whispers. 

Turn around, Deeyanah! Get out. Run!

My legs walk towards him, my arms move, pulling him towards me and then holding him tightly to my chest. 

“I’ll be back,” I whisper hoarsely, fighting the urge to hold him forever, to protect him from the unfairness of the world. 

The front door slams. 

I jump away from Daanyaal. 

Shit, Paapa’s back. 

Why the hell are you not gone yet?! 

I ignore Daanyaal’s cries and Maama’s pleas, trying to shut off my emotions. 

But tears blind my vision as I hurry past Paapa who’s too drunk to realize what’s happening until I’ve passed him. 

My shaking hands fumble with the keys. 

Dayyanah is right behind me as I turn the key and step out into the blackness of the night. 

“You’re going to regret this all your life, Deeyanah,” Dayy says.

Her voice is low, but I hear each word clearly, as they tattoo themselves into my mind.

That’s the last thing I hear Dayyanah say, before the sound of my feet pounding against the ground reaches my ears. 

But the further I go, the faster I run, it does nothing to take away her words, it does nothing to erase the image of Maama’s pleading eyes, it does nothing to silence Daanyaal’s cries, and it does nothing to wipe away my fear.



Whoopsie, the post ends here! Yeah, it is shorter than normal but I’ll try to get the next post up by Tuesday IA.

Don’t forget to drop me a comment letting me know what you think. 

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Much Love,

Troubled Illusioner. ❤


14 thoughts on “Ninety

  1. Well written authoress!! All the emotions were so vivid… Its so scary. I am worried if dayy and dee will again be like normal sisters? Will dayy ever forgive her? More importantly if dee will ever forgive herself? My heart goes out to her…and all the people in such situation. May god grant them strength and make it easy for them.

    Liked by 1 person

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