Eighty One

As narrated by Dee:

That night, although my body craved sleep, it did not come easily.

Inside me, a war waged. A never ending war. A war that could not be ceased no matter how hard I tried. A war between the two voices in my head. A war between my heart and mind. And it seems as if, with each battle, my mind has more and more control over me and my ever so weak heart.

With a heavy sigh I lift my mug to my lips and drain the coffee left inside. Its warmth flows through me, but I don’t feel the adrenaline rush effect coffee should give. For me, drinking coffee is as ordinary as drinking water. Just as how my body is accustomed to a constant feeling of emptiness, which should be filled by love of family, so too is my body accustomed to this dark brown caffeinated liquid.

Maybe happiness is just not written for me. Maybe happiness only comes with normalcy… and normalcy is a forgotten feeling to me.

Eventually, my eyelids grow heavy. I drift off into a troubled slumber.

“You worthless piece of shit!” 

My neck snaps back, my scalp burning as he grabs my hair. 

I groan in my sleep, burying my face between my pillows.

Open your eyes Deeyanah! You need to escape it before it grabs hold of you… Wake up! You need to wake up!

“You can’t follow a simple instruction! You disgraceful brat!” 

“Riaaz, please…”


And then he’s hitting me and I’m screaming. 

I’m screaming but no one can hear me.

Pain and fear has numbed my body.

Where is Dayyanah?? Why won’t anyone help me?? 

My throat is drying, my voice hoarse. 

“Wake up! Deeyanah wake up!”

Yes. Please… yes, need.. need to wake up. Need to.. need to escape.. need it to.. stop.. please, oh god… please.. make it stop…


A cold hand touches my face.

No, no! Please, no… leave me alone!

I sit up causing my numbed limbs to scream in agony.

With the little energy I have, I push the person away.

“Please,” I beg. “Please.. don’t.”

Hands grab mine. A body pushes me down.. and then I feel a heavy weight on my abdomen.

Oh god, please.. no. He’s going to kill me.

“No!” I cry out.


Open your eyes…. open. your. eyes.

And finally my body listens, cooperates.


The voice is soft now… gentle… familiar.


Her brown hair hangs loose, her green eyes slightly panicked.

“Deeyanah,” she says again, pushing my hair away from my eyes.

“Get… get off. Need.. need to.. bre.. breath.”

Her weight eases of my chest, but her hands still hold mine firmly.. like I’ve taught her to, lest I unintentionally hurt her.


In.. hold.. out.

In.. hold.. out.

In.. hold.. out.

My vision slowly clears, my heart rate eases and my body stops shaking.

I swallow, trying to moisten my parched throat.

“Here, sit up.”

I lift my head and sip the water Amaani offers.

Then, placing my head back on my pillow, I pull my blanket closer.

I feel Amaani settle down next to me and I instantly feel safer.

“Amz,” I mumble sleepily. “How am I going to live without you?”

And in the darkness of the room, Amaani replies softly.

“You won’t have to. You’re coming with me.”

But Deeyanah is already fast asleep, oblivious to Amaani’s uttered words…

Hey. Hi. Hello. Salaam. Bonjour. Salut. Ciao. Ahoj. Bog. Marhaba. Ola.😀

Sorry it’s so short, next one up tomorrow Inshl. Also, I haven’t proofread and edited so please excuse any mistakes/typos. 

Drop me a comment to let me know what you’re thinking. 😉

Much love,

Troubled Illusioner. ❤


8 thoughts on “Eighty One

  1. Those words made us feel that fear, anxiety and desperation she had. I am really afraid what her father had done to her. Authoress hats off to u! U have done it briliantly. That gripping fear and everything. Moreover u even removed my fears. So amz and dee are going to be together. Yahooo!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I hate to break it to you… but don’t get too excited just yet… keep in mind they each don’t know that the other knows what’s going on regarding Amz’s adoption yet. But.. let’s see what happens. 😉
      Thanks for your comment. ❤


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